Family Therapy
In-Person and Online Therapy for Families within New Hampshire
Does it feel like conflict has overtaken the peace in your household and lives?
You used to love and relish spending time as a family. Even though parenting was hard as you dealt with the demands of early childhood, it felt like you were a cohesive unit and loved the snuggle times and the playful roughhousing that was all done in love and high spirits. Now though, it’s starting to feel more like your home is a battleground instead of a loving sanctuary from the world outside. The tension is starting to feel palpable. No matter how much you talk, it feels like no one is actually listening to each other. You’re fighting with your kids. Your kids are fighting with each other. You and your partner are fighting about what seems like everything… from the dish that wasn’t put into the dishwasher to what the best way to discipline the kids is. You feel like your happy family is slipping away and you just don’t know what to do about it.
It’s starting to affect your relationships and every person in your family…
You and your partner are either not talking or yelling most of the time
Your children have begun asking why mom and dad fight so much
You can’t concentrate at work because you’re preoccupied with your home struggles
Your child seems more withdrawn or sad
Your kids have started having problematic behaviors and getting in trouble
Your child’s grades have started falling
Your kids seem to fight all the time now
It feels like the bond you used to have with your child is slipping away
Family therapy can help you get back what you’ve lost.
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been struggling or how strong the feelings of anger or resentment might be, there is hope to find forgiveness, healing, and peace.
Family Therapy can help you:
Improve Communication
Family therapy can help you and your family members learn healthier ways to engage and communicate with each other, enabling you to express your feelings and resolve conflicts in constructive ways instead of letting issues build up or escalate into destructive interactions.
Feel Understood
Learning better communication skills will lead to reduced misunderstandings, resentment, and tension within your family. With less resentment and tension, you are each then more open to engage in active listening and able to empathize with how one another are feeling, fostering deeper understanding and creating a more nurturing and supportive family environment. As this happens, the individual family members will then begin to feel more personally understood.
Resolve Conflict
Family therapy will also allow you to work through conflicts on neutral ground as you learn specific conflict resolution techniques. As you learn and practice these techniques, along with others, you'll develop the skills to navigate disagreements with greater ease and effectiveness, both within sessions and at home.
Change Learned Patterns
Over time the way we interact, whether positive or negative, can become a pattern and our go-to response to stress within the family. As you learn better communication skills, along with the other tools you’ll learn during family therapy, the negative patterns of interaction that you’ve learned over time can be changed and replaced with positive patterns and responses.
End Cycles of Dysfunction
Often, these learned negative patterns are developed in our childhood and carried with us into our adult relationships. As this continues from generation to generation, these patterns become cycles of family dysfunction where each generation learns from the previous one negative and unhealthy communication styles and relational dynamics. Without intervention, these patterns can perpetuate conflict, resentment, and emotional distance within the family. This cycle can be changed to a healthy one instead though. Through family therapy, you’ll be able to change your current negative patterns and strengthen your relational skills. This will result in you being able to break this cycle of dysfunction as your children carry into adulthood, and their own families, the healthy skills they’ve learned and practiced in therapy and applied in your home.
Strengthen Relationships & Have the Loving Family You’ve Desired
By learning healthier communication strategies, fostering empathy, increasing effective conflict resolution skills, and building stronger connections with your family members during active participation in therapy, you can create a more supportive, loving, and fulfilling family environment.
As your family therapist, I’ll guide you through this journey and empower you with the tools necessary to create lasting change within your family dynamics. We’ll work together toward building a stronger, more cohesive family foundation that promotes growth, understanding, and resiliency for years to come.
It’s time for you to feel the love, cohesion, and peace within your family that you’ve been looking for.
I can help you do that.
FAQ:
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Generally speaking, family therapy works best when all family members participate and are present for each session. However, let's face it, life and schedules tend to be complicated. If the occasional need arises to have a family member miss a session, we can accommodate it if it’s appropriate to do so within your family system (I would need to determine that as we work together) and if that family member feels comfortable with it.
Sometimes, certain family members may be unable or unwilling to attend therapy though. This could be due to scheduling conflicts, logistical issues, or resistance to therapy. While it's generally preferable for all members to participate, it is possible to still make progress with the available family members in addressing some of the issues affecting the family.
If it is your teen (or even younger child) that is resistant to therapy, I suggest having them check out the “therapy for teens link” page. Even though it is geared towards individual therapy for teens, they will hopefully get a better sense of what therapy is like and more specifically what therapy with me is like. After that, if they’re willing, I’d recommend having them speak with me during the initial phone consultation or to meet me in-person or online for the first family session. This will allow them to ask any questions and will give me a chance to explain what therapy is like and the confidentiality policy to the whole family at once. Often, once we speak, teens are more willing to engage in the process.
If your child or children completely refuse to attend family therapy though, then my recommendation is for you as a parent to consider either Parent Coaching (with your parenting partner) or Individual Therapy for yourself. You can find information on the “Therapy for parents link” page. By you engaging in the therapeutic process the family dynamics can shift as you gain needed insight and skills. Another benefit of this is your teen will see your willingness and, as time progresses, will hopefully see the positive changes it produces. This can motivate them to be willing to try family therapy for themselves as well.
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Yes! Although I specialize in teens and young adults, I have extensive experience with younger children as well and am happy to work with your whole family, with or without teenagers.
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It’s normal and ok to be nervous, or even unsure, about starting family therapy. Almost everybody is! Your family doesn’t know me, and it can feel uncomfortable talking with someone you don’t know. The nervousness will usually go away relatively quickly. Hopefully, you will all start to feel comfortable as you get to know me and get a better feel for what family therapy is like. It’s also totally alright to let me know if you’re feeling nervous so we can talk about it… in fact, I encourage it!
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Whenever I work with more than one person within a session, as is the case with family therapy, my goal is to facilitate healthy communication, understanding, and resolution of conflicts. While it is possible in family therapy for one person to feel overwhelmed or outnumbered at times, it is always my intention to maintain balance and fairness in the session. Ideally, everyone should feel heard and respected, and I will intervene if anyone is being treated unjustly or ganged up on. If you are concerned about this possibility though, please discuss your concern with me. This will allow me to remain cognizant of this dynamic and ensure that the sessions are safe and supportive for each family member.
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Just like with individual therapy, family therapy is a process. It is about building trust, which takes time. I would never expect that you’d feel comfortable sharing very personal things right away with me. As we get to know each other and that trust builds, then you will hopefully feel more comfortable talking about the personal or hard things that are happening within your family. The first few sessions really are about getting to know each other, allowing time for me to begin to understand your family dynamics, and building that trust and rapport. Ultimately it is up to you to decide what and when to share or discuss things. There may be times that I bring something up because of previous things discussed or through my observation of your family dynamics (that is why you’re seeing me), but it is completely alright to let me know you’re not ready to talk about that right then and we can revisit it if needed.
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Reach out to schedule your free 20-minute consultation. During the call, I will answer any questions you may have, learn about your family and the challenges you’re currently facing, and tell you more about my approach to family therapy. Part of the purpose of the initial consultation call is to figure out if we’re a good fit to work together, based both on personalities and the challenges you’re experiencing right now. Often times with families, the best way to determine this though is to have an initial session with the whole family after the phone consultation. I want each member of your family to feel comfortable and for each of you to get the help you want, need, and deserve. Hopefully, I can be that for your family, but if not, I’ll try to refer you to someone who can.